How did you celebrate Mother’s Day this past weekend? Did you call your mom or take her out to brunch? If you are a mom, maybe you were treated to breakfast in bed or a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Over the holiday weekend, CNN decided to shine a light on one group of moms that we may not think about too often – those women who raised convicted sex offenders.
Have you ever thought about what it must be like to live every day with the fact that a molester or a rapist or a hoarder of child pornography was brought up in your home? I imagine the guilt must be a daily emotion, as well as the painful tug of wanting to protect your son or daughter. Do you still think of the adult criminal as the innocent-looking young child from school photos that you have framed in your living room?
The article features some gripping interviews with mothers who have paid mortgages on homes for their sons to live in permitted zones upon release from prison, who have had their marriages torn apart over arguments about how to deal with a child facing very serious charges, and who now replay every second of their parenting efforts to figure out where they went wrong. The article also points out that when the sex offense involves violence, it is not unusual to learn the perpetrator witnessed his mom as the victim of violence in the family home.
Do you have a natural inclination when you think about the moms of sex offenders?
Are there certain assumptions you make about their parenting?
Or, do you believe the theory of nature wins out over nurture in what these sons . . . and sometimes daughters . . . chose to do?
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Author Jennifer Chase 
Knowing that your child is a sex offender might be the heaviest burden a parent would ever have to bear. It is difficult to even understand the pain that comes with such a revelation.
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I hadnt thought of sex offenders, but I have wondered about parents who raise murderers and how they cope with that. This is indeed another horrible thing to live with. I dont know how a parent can remember that sweet child and know what they’ve turned into. It must be a hard burden to carry forever.
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I come from a little different direction – since my Mother handed me over to someone she knew was a child molester in exchange for a good life. She actively aided and abetted his abuse and I was much more afraid of her, than of him.
Jeffrey Dahmer’s father wrote a book about his search for answers. I don’t think he ever truly understood. I am not sure, but I think the research has not found a single predisposing reason for child molestation, although some molesters were victims themselves. Human sexuality is a very complex set of responses and it is likely there is more than one reason for someone to crave sex with children.
However it may be caused, I’m sure their parents feel a terrible burden of guilt, mixed with the love they cannot help but feel for their own child. How difficult that must be we can only imagine.
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My son has 11 felony charges for messing with kids – he messed with his own little sister – I am sick, worried, stessed – I really think I need counseling – I am loosing it
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